Most of you who read this know that I write to share the good and the bad. Lately I’ve been going through a trial. We moved here a year and a half ago. When I reflect on the past 20 months there have been some great moments, sad moments and more than anything lonely moments. One of the hardest things for me to get use to as a pastor’s wife is the loneliness. Almost everyone that I meet wants something from me in some way or another. They want me to encourage them, pray for them, listen to what they are going through or help with an idea they have. All of these things I am more than willing to do. I don’t have one negative thought about doing anything for anyone. But there are moments when I look around and wonder does anyone pray for me? Do I ever cross someone’s mind when they kneel down and speak to the master. There are moments when I wish someone would come up and speak to me without needing me first. Just because they love me and want to hear my voice. Very rarely do I get those moments. When I do they are cherished. I hope this doesn’t sound like a pity party on my part. Most days I go right on and don’t even think about it. When things slow down and the kids get settled I have to admit I have some of the most lonesome talks with the Lord. There are days when I feel like Dave and the Lord are my only friends. Now that is definitely not true because I have some wonderful friends that are closer to me than a lot of my family. There are emotional battles that I face that even my friends, my husband, my children and my family can’t help me fight. It has to come from the Lord.
Once when I was little I remember going to church with my Mamaw in Hamilton, OH. The preacher said “Sometimes when I’m praying I just reach up and I can feel Him reach down and hold my hand.” I remember thinking that was so strange. I was very young. I know now what that minister was talking about!! I have been to the place where I just needed to feel His comfort. The reassurance that only He can give. I needed to know He was still with me. Guiding my steps. Today I have needed that. I know that God is going to bring me through this trial but please pray for me while I wait for Him to move in His time. Pray that I can remain standing when the strong winds of life try to blow me away. Pray that God will whisper His sweet peace to me when chaos surrounds me. I appreciate your prayers and I know that God will move.