Friday, January 28, 2011

For the Glory of the Cross

I've had a song on my mind all week.  I've been singing it in my mind, humming it through out the day..

I am dwelling on the mountain,
Where the golden sunlight gleams
O’er a land whose wondrous beauty
Far exceeds my fondest dreams;
Where the air is pure, ethereal,
Laden with the breath of flow’rs,
They are blooming by the fountain,
’Neath the amaranthine bow’rs.

Is not this the land of Beulah?
Blessed, blessed land of light,
Where the flowers bloom forever,
And the sun is always bright!

I can see far down the mountain,
Where I wandered weary years,
Often hindered in my journey
By the ghosts of doubts and fears;
Broken vows and disappointments
Thickly sprinkled all the way,
But the Spirit led, unerring,
To the land I hold today.

I am drinking at the fountain,
Where I ever would abide;
For I’ve tasted life’s pure river,
And my soul is satisfied;
There’s no thirsting for life’s pleasures,
Nor adorning, rich and gay,
For I’ve found a richer treasure,
One that fadeth not away.

Tell me not of heavy crosses,
Nor of burdens hard to bear,
For I’ve found this great salvation
Makes each burden light appear;
And I love to follow Jesus,
Gladly counting all but loss,
Worldly honors all forsaking
For the glory of the cross.

Oh, the cross has wondrous glory!
Oft I’ve proved this to be true;
When I’m in the way so narrow,
I can see a pathway through;
And how sweetly Jesus whispers:
“Take the cross, thou need’st not fear,
For I’ve tried the way before thee,”
And the glory lingers near.

I can't seem to get it off my mind this week.  I just felt like sharing the words to a beautiful song that I love.  I love that part that says worldly honors all forsaking for the glory of the cross.  Sometimes when your involved in working in church or a part of a ministry its hard to understand why things happen a certain way.  Something that I have struggled with over the years is taking things personal.  When someone makes the decision to drift away from the Lord or stop attending church I feel like someone punched me.... I know that sounds awful but I do.  I take it so personal.  I feel like maybe if I would have said more or done more then they wouldn't have drifted away.  I forget sometimes that its not about me and what I'm doing.  Its about their walk, their choices.  

The most beautiful thing to me is the freedom that Jesus gave people.  Choose this day whom you'll serve...  Its not me or anything about me its all about HIM!!  People have to choose Jesus above a life of sin and until they truly make that choice to follow his ways and accept his teachings then no amount of songs I sing, ladies fellowship meetings I host or kids classes I do is going to make a difference.  I just have to continue on the path God has set before me and do the best that I can for the Lord.  I can't make people choose Jesus I can only point them in his direction....  

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Praise My Way Through!!

Today I want to Praise God!!!  God has brought my husband and I through so many trials over the years.  Why is it that although He has moved for us numerous times I have moments of doubt, or I want to question God's will.  I know He can move because He has over and over again.  So when am I going to mature enough spiritually to meet adversity with faith?  I feel so convicted for letting myself wonder.  I know God is going to move in my situation.  I choose now to praise him for what He's done and all that He's going to do!

My son, Kole, is 2 1/2.  Those of you who have children know that just saying his age explains a lot of what I go through on a daily basis, LOL.  I am teaching him to ask nicely for what he's wanting or needing in that moment.  Not demanding things but asking with a polite voice.  So when the answer is no or if its not immediately given to him his reaction is the same ...... crying and anger.  His reaction is also the same no matter how small or big his issue is.  Whether he's hungry or just wants a toy that Kylee won't give him.  Its a daily struggle for us to teach Kole that crying and getting angry all the time is not ok. 

Today I really saw the similarities between my relationship with God and Kole's relationship with me.  Sometimes I'm like a 2 year old pitching a fit because I didn't get the answer I wanted from God.  I feel like God has been speaking to my heart.  He has wanted me to listen to Him and heed His direction.  Instead of just calmly listening and obeying the Lord I cry and get angry when adversity comes my way.  I am going to change this aspect of myself and learn from my mistakes.  I am going to cry out to Lord instead of complaining.  I am going to listen when He speaks.  I am going to Praise Him through the good times and the bad.  I want to change my reactions to my circumstances.  I want to Praise my way through!!!!    

Friday, January 21, 2011

Wishy Washy....

This morning i am really looking forward to Sunday.  I wasn't able to attend service on Wednesday night because my daughter had a fever.  When unforeseen circumstances keep me from going to my midweek service I feel so weak by the time Sunday rolls around.  I receive so much strength from church and I don't ever want to miss an opportunity to worship.  It has me wondering how people can go for days, weeks and even months without attending church.  I can barely make it from Sunday to Sunday.  How do people fight everything that the devil slings at them??? 

Something I don't ever want to be is wishy washy....(i like that word).  My husband has been in the ministry for 8 years in October.  I have seen so many people give their life to the Lord when things were going rough and then when things started going okay they gradually slipped back into their old life and forgot about the Lord.  I've been guilty of that before too in the past.  That got me thinking.  Being wishy washy in my walk with the Lord can be just as devastating as being wishy washy with my salvation.  Do I pray just as fervently when I'm thanking God for blessings when they come as I do when I'm so low I can't look anywhere but up?  Do I treat people with kindness and love at work the way I do at church?  Am I consistent in my service to the Lord?  I really had to think about these and it hits home with me.  How can I expect to be an example to others if I'm not faithful in my walk on a daily basis?

When my life comes to an end and I go to be with the Lord I don't want my family and friends to have to wonder what kind of life I lived.  I want people to see Christ in everything I do, every conversation I have and every decision i make.  I don't want to have to worry about whether I offended someone because I was in a bad mood that day.  My mood should not dictate how I treat others.  Christ should lead me in my every step, every word and deed.  If its not that way I need to step back and get out of his way.....

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

What am I doing....

I have been thinking and praying about doing this blog for a while.  I have been so undecided till yesterday.  I just have peace about it now so I'm going to give it a try.  First I want anyone who reads this to know that I am not in any way here to tell anyone how to be a good pastor's wife.  I'm simply sharing my life, my experiences, my testimonies, and my thoughts.  Through the years I have felt such loneliness.  Maybe this is my way of connecting with other women who have similar trials, battles and life experiences. 

I also thought maybe there is someone out there that feels a little overwhelmed too.  I ask myself all the time:

Am i serving the Lord with all my heart? 
Am i being an example of Holiness? 
Am I striving to be a biblical wife? 
Am I teaching my children the way God wants them to be taught? 

I am an imperfect creature by nature.  I make mistakes daily.  Thank the Lord for his mercy and abundant grace.  He picks me up, dusts me off and says try again.  I want to confidently answer yes to all of those questions one day.  I striving to do all those things with a perfect heart.  Pray for me.  If you stumble across my blog and need prayer please don't hesitate to ask.  I will be your prayer partner....