Thursday, May 5, 2011

Prayer Request

 

Most of you who read this know that I write to share the good and the bad.  Lately I’ve been going through a trial.  We moved here a year and a half ago.  When I reflect on the past 20 months there have been some great moments, sad moments and more than anything lonely moments.  One of the hardest things for me to get use to as a pastor’s wife is the loneliness.  Almost everyone that I meet wants something from me in some way or another.  They want me to encourage them, pray for them, listen to what they are going through or help with an idea they have.  All of these things I am more than willing to do.  I don’t have one negative thought about doing anything for anyone.  But there are moments when I look around and wonder does anyone pray for me?  Do I ever cross someone’s mind when they kneel down and speak to the master.  There are moments when I wish someone would come up and speak to me without needing me first.  Just because they love me and want to hear my voice.  Very rarely do I get those moments.  When I do they are cherished.  I hope this doesn’t sound like a pity party on my part.  Most days I go right on and don’t even think about it.  When things slow down and the kids get settled I have to admit I have some of the most lonesome talks with the Lord.  There are days when I feel like Dave and the Lord are my only friends.  Now that is definitely not true because I have some wonderful friends that are closer to me than a lot of my family.  There are emotional battles that I face that even my friends, my husband, my children and my family can’t help me fight.  It has to come from the Lord. 

 

Once when I was little I remember going to church with my Mamaw in Hamilton, OH.  The preacher said “Sometimes when I’m praying I just reach up and I can feel Him reach down and hold my hand.”  I remember thinking that was so strange.  I was very young.  I know now what that minister was talking about!!  I have been to the place where I just needed to feel His comfort.  The reassurance that only He can give.  I needed to know He was still with me.  Guiding my steps.  Today I have needed that.  I know that God is going to bring me through this trial but please pray for me while I wait for Him to move in His time.  Pray that I can remain standing when the strong winds of life try to blow me away.  Pray that God will whisper His sweet peace to me when chaos surrounds me.  I appreciate your prayers and I know that God will move.

 

Blessings,

Kina   

Monday, March 21, 2011

James 1:22

  I've been thinking about this verse all morning: James 1:22 But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.

How easy it is to be deceived.  When I was growing up I learned about the bible.  I remember learning about Eve and how she beleived a lie because of one word being added to a sentance.....ye shall not surley die.  When you think about it, really, its not that huge of a change.  Its simple.  One word.  That one small simple word brought sin into the world.

It only takes one small word to open the door and welcome sin back into your heart.  So often we think it has to be this huge thing to happen and bam your a sinner.  Those types of things are easy for Satan.  I mean come on its not really a challenge to convince someone that sin feels good, tastes good and looks good.  The real challenge is convincing people that they aren't wrong for doing it.  Satan speaks lies daily.  He'll say anything to get you to believe its okay.  Justifying sin is the first step into darkness.  Satan wants us to believe that what we're doing is not sin.  When the word says no, satan says yes.   

We can go to church every time the doors are open, be the sunday school teacher, sing in the choir, participate in drama ministry, and any other acitivity, outreach or service that is available and still be living a life of sin.   James 1:22 But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.  You may hear it but if thats where it ends your no different from the woman on the back row who just walked in and everyone knows what she's been doing.  You've just gotten good at hiding your sin, thats all.  You've gotten so good you've convinced yourself your not sinning. 

I'm speaking from my own experience.  I have worked in church since I was 15 or 16 years old.  I truly love having a part in my home church.  For several years I helped my husband  with his ministry and the whole time I had hatred in my heart because I felt I'd been wronged.  I convinced myself that it was okay because they did me wrong...  Thank God for having mercy on me.  He opened my eyes to the ugliness that sin had created of my heart.  Its so easy to get consumed with something like hatred, bitterness, envy, and strife because they aren't visible or obvious sins.

I'm not writing this today to condemn everyone to Hell or make people feel bad.  I'm writing this to condemn Satan to Hell and share with you that my eyes had to be opened.  When the light of Jesus lit up my life I was no longer in darkness.  My sin was ever present and I had to get rid of it.  I begged God to continue to have mercy on me and to purge this ugly deceptive sin from my heart.  His light filled the holes that sin had left behind and He made me whole!!!  He can do that for you too.  If your unsure about something your doing, something your thinking about doing talk to your pastor.  Seek counsel from someone who knows the word.  Read your bible and learn it for yourself.  Pray. Pray. Pray.  Ask Jesus into your heart and his light will shine down into your life and reveal the impurities of sin.....I know because He did this for me!!!

Blessings,
Kina  
        

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Thankful

I'm so excited.  I absolutley LOVE Thankful Thursdays.  Its so encouraging to hear what big things God is doing for others and what little things everyone is thankful for.  It always puts a smile on my face just thinking about it.  Since its "Thankful Thursday"  I was thinking about being thankful and knowing where to turn to in time of need.  

My sister in law and friend told me once that she was thankful for the knowledge of where her help comes from and for knowing who provides her blessings.  That really stuck with me.  Its important to remember that God supplies the increase.  If we think its something we did or someone else other than God then thats not pleasing God.  He wants us to put Him first above everything.  He wants us to know that He met our need, He provided the blessing, He moved on our behalf.  We must give God ALL the honor and glory in everything.  I'm sure my sister in law had no idea how much her words meant to me or how much I took them to heart but I knew it was God speaking to me and I listened....   (thats my word of the year heehee)

We moved to this area about a year and a half ago.  When we first came we thought we're gonna do this, we're gonna start that and just had tons of ideas and excitment.  We still have tons of ideas and plenty of excitement but things didn't happen as quickly as we thought for sure they would.  At first I just didn't get it.  I thought Lord why would you send us here to work in this church when no one wants to come.  There have been a lot of times when it was just our family, our deacon's family and one other couple.  That was and sometimes still is so hard to handle.  I have a different outlook on things now.  We are still going through this but I know God has already started moving.  Once I got myself out of the way I realized God has had some preparation to do.  He's laying the foundation.  We weren't ready for massive growth when we first got here.  God has had some work that still needed to be done on us.  We have to be ready for God to use us according to His will and in His time. 

So I'm having patience.  I know that God is going to bless our efforts.  I know that He sent my husband here for a reason and that He has a great work for this church.  I know that God will supply the increase.  It won't be from us or our talent or efforts.  It will be for the honor and Glory of God.  I believe that one day this church will be a pillar in the community.  A refuge for the weary.  A place to find JESUS!!  With all my heart I believe this.  We may not be here for that.  Our work may have been just laying the foundation but I am so thankful that God chose us to have a part in His plan.     

I hope that if your reading this you remember where your strength comes from and give God all the glory.  His merciful hand has been guiding us daily and for that I can't give Him enough praise.  Thank you for taking the time to listen to my story.
Blessings,
Kina

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Warning Signs

  You know when your driving and you see:
 Go to fullsize image   or    Go to fullsize image
I was thinking about the Warning Signs that God gives us daily.  His are more subtle most of the time but nevertheless they are still there if your looking for them.  I'm the worst for not paying attention when I'm driving and I'll miss my exit or the turn I was looking for.  Dave just looks at me like "well if you were paying attention we'd be there" LOL!!  I would love it if God had huge billboards for me that said "Don't Go Down This Path" or "Proceed with Caution" and even better "Watch Out for Snakes"....
So I know that its not that simple but when you go through a trial or two you'll start to recognize the signs that God's trying to give you.  I feel apprehension sometimes and don't know why.  Years ago I would overlook it and go on.  Now I slow down, take my time and proceed with caution.  I know that God is letting me know that your about to face something big and you need to pray, seek the Lord, and stay focused on Him. 
     I have gone through periods of feeling down.  I don't know if I'd call it a depression but I was defintley depressed about something when this would happen.  Every time I've gone through this it started with isolation.  I would automatically want to close myself to everyone and everything around me and just be alone.  At first I thought, I'm just going through a trial and I don't want to be hurt.  I'm protecting my heart.  I've since realized that, for me, that's the first sign that I'm getting depressed or down.  I withdraw.  Those closest to me realize it almost immediatly and then others will take notice if I'm down for a while.  Through the years I've finally learned to identify what triggers this reaction in me.  I've learned to listen to the Lord and ask him continually for help in recognizing His warning signs.
      He may speak to you differently than me but I guarentee if you seek the Lord and ask Him to reveal things to you He will.  To be a safe driver we have to pay attention, use good judgement and stay focused.  You won't see the signs if your not looking.  Its the same way with the Lord.  If we're busy with tons of other things and taking our sight off Him then we'll end up going the wrong way, getting ourselves into an undesirable place or worse.....lost.  I've learned that when I keep Him first I may still go through trials and believe me they are difficult, BUT, I'd rather go through the trial with my Navigator On than go through them alone.  Surely I'd end up lost and those who know me know that I'm geographically challenged!!!!!  Jesus is like my Navigator app.  He guides me to the correct destination...  Thank the Lord!!!!        

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

I Choose to Serve the Lord

Good Morning!  Everyday I email back and forth with my sister-in-laws.  There are 6 of us all who participate and my niece Beth so 7 altogether.  I live far away from the rest of the girls so it gives me the opportunity to still feel close to everyone.  I am very thankful for them!!!!  Today the first email sent said "I hope you choose to have a wonderful Wednesday!"  The first time I read it I just automatically hit reply all and responded like I normally do.  Then every time I went to my email that one line seemed to catch my eye and it seemed like I just kept reading it over and over.  Then I thought of the verse: Joshua 24:15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD

It really hit me this morning.  Do I choose to serve the Lord every day?  To be honest a lot of days I choose myself and my needs first.  I'll wake up so worried about being late and getting the kids where they need to be I don't think about God until everything has settled down and I'm alone in my vehicle or sitting at my desk.  I got so condemned when I realized that about myself today.....  Now I'm not saying that in doing that I'm sinning or not living for God so don't get me wrong.  But, what I am saying is why do I wait to serve the Lord until I've had my morning coffee and things are quiet.  Then I give God my attention.  When its convenient for me.  In Dave's sermon this weekend he mentioned serving God is never convenient.  I got a wake up call today.  My word for the year is Listen.  Lord I heard you loud and clear LOL.  I am going to make a new start.  Today is a new day.  I am going to choose to serve the Lord first each day.  I choose for Him to be the first name on my lips, the first thought in my mind.  I choose to start my day asking God what can I do for Him today not what can he do for me.  I am not going to let convenience  determine my willingness to put God first.   

As for me, I Choose to serve the Lord!!!!
        

Thursday, February 24, 2011

A Servant's Heart

I want a servants heart
And I will gladly bear the markings
Of one held captive yet free
Not my will but thine
For Lord in your own time
Only you can make a servants heart

He compels me to go
But I would rather stay
He sent me a valley
Once again today
My self determined will
Keeps tearing me apart
But when the works completed
I'll have a servants heart

More and more Lord I see
There's a work I must do
Father may you find me faithful
Trusting only you
Take all that I have been
There, your will to start
And then I'll serve no other master
with this servants heart

Growing up I would go to church with my mamaw a lot.  She use to sing in a group and this was my favorite song that they sang.  The words took on new meaning and became more and more personal as I got older and developed a deeper relationship with the Lord.  I want to be found willing for the Lord to mold me into what he sees fit.  I want to trust in the Lord with all my heart every minute of every day.  I feel so often as this song mentions that my self determined will is tearing me apart.  I don't always understand God's plan but then again why do I need to understand it?  The most important thing is not that I understand its that I accept his will.  He always knows what's best in every situation or circumstance I face.  Not my will but thine for Lord in your own time only you can make a servant's heart!

Blessings,
Kina

Monday, February 21, 2011

Listen

Good Morning, from Fort Smith, AR!  Its another busy Monday.  I don't know about everyone else but my Mondays are usually off to a slow start.  I always wanna sleep that extra 5 or 10 minutes.  My weekends are always so full and I'm usually wore out.  Even when I'm tired its hard to not smile when my little Kylee bug wants to sit in my lap before she goes to the bus stop.  She made my day.  I'm so thankful for every little memory like that with my babies.  Time seems to go by so fast.  I don't want to miss a moment.    

I have been reflecting on my relationship with the Lord a lot lately.  Well, relationships in general but mostly with the Lord.  My favorite radio station was doing a thing at the begining of the year where you choose one word for the year 2011.  My word ended up being 'Listen'.  I really feel like that was what God wanted me to really focus on this year.  Sometimes when someone is talking to you and your not paying attention you might miss their voice inflection or the emotion behind their words.  I don't want to do that anymore.  I want to truly listen when someone is speaking to me not only with my ears but with my heart.  When God speaks to my heart I don't want to be so consumed with life that I don't hear Him.

I've heard a particular story from the bible used in many sermons through out the years.  Its when Martha got upset with Mary because she wasn't helping her prepare the meal for their guests.  Martha was busy doing everything and Mary was sitting at Jesus feet.  So often I see myself in Martha.  I get so caught up with life that I can almost hear the Lord saying "Kina, Kina, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her."  I don't want to forget to choose that good part.  Sometimes I have to stop myself and make sure I'm not forgetting to just sit at Jesus' feet and listen. 

I am so thankful that through every trial the Lord has been right there.  He's never left my side.  He gives me strength when I'm weak.  He supplies my needs.  When I don't always know what's coming next He holds my hand and comforts me.  Who am I Lord that you are mindful of me?  I want to listen to God when he speaks to my heart, whether its words of comfort, encouragment or correction.  I want to choose that good part so that it can never be taken away from me. 
   

Monday, February 7, 2011

Greater Purpose

This was an email between myself and my sister-in-laws.  As it turns out all of our husbands are either ministers or deacons.  They wanted me to share it in my blog. 

So today i have a heavy heart.  I want to share something with yall....
I know we all have different struggles in our daily life.  I am 32 and my husband is a pastor.  There is not a day that goes by that I don't wonder why God would want me to be a pastor's wife.  I battle Satan on a daily basis.  Sometimes he comes at me through my own insecurity, sometimes through other people, and other times through circumstances i face.  When you truly give your heart to God and accept the teachings of Christ and apply them to your life that doesn't mean that your battles go away or that the temptations aren't their anymore.  I know that I have given my heart to the Lord.  I know that Christ died to save my soul.  I know that I've been baptized and repented of my sins.  When i make a mistake and sin again I ask God to forgive me and stop doing that.  I go to church whenever the doors are open.  I help with pretty much everything that goes on at church.  My husband is a Pastor.  With all of this I struggle sometimes to get through the day!!!  There are days when i pray for God to help me get through this hour Lord.  Sometimes my burden is so heavy I feel like I can't possibly carry it alone.  Then i remember, (you would think it would be ingrained in my mind) I'm not alone.  My Lord is living and he walks with me on a daily basis.  He carries my load when I can't go on any longer.  Why as believers do we forget this? We hear it preached often enough.  

Something I feel like sharing with yall is when your trials start to consume your mind, your daily life, or when fear of the unknown starts rearing its ugly head don't forget where to find peace.  When things just aren't going how we want them too, or the way we think they should step back for a moment.  Make sure you haven't gotten out of step with the Lord.  Just because your not in sync with Him doesn't mean your living a life full of hell.  It could just be that your not letting Him lead your steps.  He could have been letting you walk around in the wilderness for a while waiting on you to realize you got off path.  

Girls, everyone of us have a husband that is called for a greater purpose.  Whether we like it or not that means His calling to God comes first.  Our life will revolve around that calling.  It took me so long to truly understand what it means to be a good wife, mother, friend, sister and daughter.  A good wife puts her husbands needs above her own, is supportive and loving, provides a sanctuary at home where his mind can relax.  A good mother teaches her children how to love God with all their heart.  A good friend/sister is there in time of need, always praying and not backbiting.  A good daughter honors thy father and mother. 

So I have no idea why I felt like sharing this with all of you.  I miss you all.  I hope you cherish one another and nurture your relationships with each other.  I would love to have all of you live close to me!!!  Remember we are all in this together.  We have to be there for one another and pray for each other.  When conflict and trials arise in our lives we should be able to depend on each other for comfort, prayers and love.  God has not called us to be ordinary.  He wants us to be extraordinary!!!!    
Kina     

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Forgiveness

Oh my goodness this weather!!!  We've had ice, ice and more ice.  Today the windchill will be 20 below at times.  I am so thankful for a warm home and reliable vehicle.  My daughter Kylee has had the flu and she is feeling better, for that I am also thankful!!!! 

So I had to leave work early on Tuesday because the weather got so bad.  When I got out to my van the windshield was covered in ice....  I had to sit for about 20 minutes just so it could thaw enough to be scraped off.  This morning I was thinking how sometimes I've let my heart get hardened with ice.  I've let hurt, anger and bitterness freeze walls around my heart in an effort to protect myself from being hurt.  At the time that seemed like the only option.  For me it was so deep that I sort of shut down emotionally.  It was easier to not feel anything than to feel the pain from being wounded.  Especially when its by someone you love.  My husband and I both suffered but somehow he was able to deal with things better than me.  He would give me mini bible studies constantly trying to help me not get consumed with my emotions but eventually I ended up letting it take over.

I have to be careful how I word this because all of this is in the past and I don't want to bring up anything thats covered under the blood.  I just want to share how easy it is to get consumed.  One of my previous pastors always had a saying, "You start out right but you end up wrong..", for me this was the case.  Its funny to because I wasn't actually the one that was under attack.  It was my husband.  For some reason the pain was sooooo much greater when he was the one being done wrong than if it would have been me.  I know the life he lives.  I know the nights that he can't sleep because someone is on his heart.  I can visibly see the difference in him when he's burdened.  I've heard his cries to God on others behalf.  Maybe thats why my defences go on overdrive when I feel he's being mistreated.  I'm very protective of him.  My mother in law told me once its not my job to protect Dave its my job to support and love him to let God do the protecting.  Very wise words.  I took them to heart.

For a while, several months actually, I felt like no matter what I did I couldn't release this anger.  I trusted no one.  I felt like I was on the defense all the time.  Then a visiting minister came to town and preached this beautiful sermon on forgiveness.  I'll never forget it because I realized that day what was really my problem.  I had not truly forgiven.  Months had gone by and I kept thinking I needed them to change, to see themselves.  I thought I was needing them to make some monumental discovery of how horrible they were....  God spoke to my heart that day.  I finally let go and gave all my hurt, pain, bitterness and anger to God and let forgiveness replace all of that.  It was like a balm to my aching soul.  The walls of ice around my heart melted and cracked.  I felt freedom!!  I had been weighted down carrying this with me everywhere.  The words from that sermon scraped all the yuckiness away and I could feel again.

I don't know why I felt like sharing this experience today. Something I try to remember is that forgiveness isn't admitting you were wrong and they were right.  Its also not saying that this person never did anything to you or that what they did to you was okay.  Forgiveness is letting go.  Forgiveness is healing.  Forgiveness is what God does for us daily....    

Friday, January 28, 2011

For the Glory of the Cross

I've had a song on my mind all week.  I've been singing it in my mind, humming it through out the day..

I am dwelling on the mountain,
Where the golden sunlight gleams
O’er a land whose wondrous beauty
Far exceeds my fondest dreams;
Where the air is pure, ethereal,
Laden with the breath of flow’rs,
They are blooming by the fountain,
’Neath the amaranthine bow’rs.

Is not this the land of Beulah?
Blessed, blessed land of light,
Where the flowers bloom forever,
And the sun is always bright!

I can see far down the mountain,
Where I wandered weary years,
Often hindered in my journey
By the ghosts of doubts and fears;
Broken vows and disappointments
Thickly sprinkled all the way,
But the Spirit led, unerring,
To the land I hold today.

I am drinking at the fountain,
Where I ever would abide;
For I’ve tasted life’s pure river,
And my soul is satisfied;
There’s no thirsting for life’s pleasures,
Nor adorning, rich and gay,
For I’ve found a richer treasure,
One that fadeth not away.

Tell me not of heavy crosses,
Nor of burdens hard to bear,
For I’ve found this great salvation
Makes each burden light appear;
And I love to follow Jesus,
Gladly counting all but loss,
Worldly honors all forsaking
For the glory of the cross.

Oh, the cross has wondrous glory!
Oft I’ve proved this to be true;
When I’m in the way so narrow,
I can see a pathway through;
And how sweetly Jesus whispers:
“Take the cross, thou need’st not fear,
For I’ve tried the way before thee,”
And the glory lingers near.

I can't seem to get it off my mind this week.  I just felt like sharing the words to a beautiful song that I love.  I love that part that says worldly honors all forsaking for the glory of the cross.  Sometimes when your involved in working in church or a part of a ministry its hard to understand why things happen a certain way.  Something that I have struggled with over the years is taking things personal.  When someone makes the decision to drift away from the Lord or stop attending church I feel like someone punched me.... I know that sounds awful but I do.  I take it so personal.  I feel like maybe if I would have said more or done more then they wouldn't have drifted away.  I forget sometimes that its not about me and what I'm doing.  Its about their walk, their choices.  

The most beautiful thing to me is the freedom that Jesus gave people.  Choose this day whom you'll serve...  Its not me or anything about me its all about HIM!!  People have to choose Jesus above a life of sin and until they truly make that choice to follow his ways and accept his teachings then no amount of songs I sing, ladies fellowship meetings I host or kids classes I do is going to make a difference.  I just have to continue on the path God has set before me and do the best that I can for the Lord.  I can't make people choose Jesus I can only point them in his direction....  

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Praise My Way Through!!

Today I want to Praise God!!!  God has brought my husband and I through so many trials over the years.  Why is it that although He has moved for us numerous times I have moments of doubt, or I want to question God's will.  I know He can move because He has over and over again.  So when am I going to mature enough spiritually to meet adversity with faith?  I feel so convicted for letting myself wonder.  I know God is going to move in my situation.  I choose now to praise him for what He's done and all that He's going to do!

My son, Kole, is 2 1/2.  Those of you who have children know that just saying his age explains a lot of what I go through on a daily basis, LOL.  I am teaching him to ask nicely for what he's wanting or needing in that moment.  Not demanding things but asking with a polite voice.  So when the answer is no or if its not immediately given to him his reaction is the same ...... crying and anger.  His reaction is also the same no matter how small or big his issue is.  Whether he's hungry or just wants a toy that Kylee won't give him.  Its a daily struggle for us to teach Kole that crying and getting angry all the time is not ok. 

Today I really saw the similarities between my relationship with God and Kole's relationship with me.  Sometimes I'm like a 2 year old pitching a fit because I didn't get the answer I wanted from God.  I feel like God has been speaking to my heart.  He has wanted me to listen to Him and heed His direction.  Instead of just calmly listening and obeying the Lord I cry and get angry when adversity comes my way.  I am going to change this aspect of myself and learn from my mistakes.  I am going to cry out to Lord instead of complaining.  I am going to listen when He speaks.  I am going to Praise Him through the good times and the bad.  I want to change my reactions to my circumstances.  I want to Praise my way through!!!!    

Friday, January 21, 2011

Wishy Washy....

This morning i am really looking forward to Sunday.  I wasn't able to attend service on Wednesday night because my daughter had a fever.  When unforeseen circumstances keep me from going to my midweek service I feel so weak by the time Sunday rolls around.  I receive so much strength from church and I don't ever want to miss an opportunity to worship.  It has me wondering how people can go for days, weeks and even months without attending church.  I can barely make it from Sunday to Sunday.  How do people fight everything that the devil slings at them??? 

Something I don't ever want to be is wishy washy....(i like that word).  My husband has been in the ministry for 8 years in October.  I have seen so many people give their life to the Lord when things were going rough and then when things started going okay they gradually slipped back into their old life and forgot about the Lord.  I've been guilty of that before too in the past.  That got me thinking.  Being wishy washy in my walk with the Lord can be just as devastating as being wishy washy with my salvation.  Do I pray just as fervently when I'm thanking God for blessings when they come as I do when I'm so low I can't look anywhere but up?  Do I treat people with kindness and love at work the way I do at church?  Am I consistent in my service to the Lord?  I really had to think about these and it hits home with me.  How can I expect to be an example to others if I'm not faithful in my walk on a daily basis?

When my life comes to an end and I go to be with the Lord I don't want my family and friends to have to wonder what kind of life I lived.  I want people to see Christ in everything I do, every conversation I have and every decision i make.  I don't want to have to worry about whether I offended someone because I was in a bad mood that day.  My mood should not dictate how I treat others.  Christ should lead me in my every step, every word and deed.  If its not that way I need to step back and get out of his way.....

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

What am I doing....

I have been thinking and praying about doing this blog for a while.  I have been so undecided till yesterday.  I just have peace about it now so I'm going to give it a try.  First I want anyone who reads this to know that I am not in any way here to tell anyone how to be a good pastor's wife.  I'm simply sharing my life, my experiences, my testimonies, and my thoughts.  Through the years I have felt such loneliness.  Maybe this is my way of connecting with other women who have similar trials, battles and life experiences. 

I also thought maybe there is someone out there that feels a little overwhelmed too.  I ask myself all the time:

Am i serving the Lord with all my heart? 
Am i being an example of Holiness? 
Am I striving to be a biblical wife? 
Am I teaching my children the way God wants them to be taught? 

I am an imperfect creature by nature.  I make mistakes daily.  Thank the Lord for his mercy and abundant grace.  He picks me up, dusts me off and says try again.  I want to confidently answer yes to all of those questions one day.  I striving to do all those things with a perfect heart.  Pray for me.  If you stumble across my blog and need prayer please don't hesitate to ask.  I will be your prayer partner....